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On Being Single and Happy

My friend’s birthday is coming up; and as what usually happens when you turn a year older, you become retrospective; seeing how your life has been until now – where you once were, where you are now and where you’re going.

She’s been waiting for the love of her life to come and sweep her off her feet.  Unfortunately, THE ONE seems to be taking too long.  Anyway, I told her that if he’s gonna come, he’s gonna come.  But if he doesn’t show up, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

Methinks, we’re just putting too much focus on finding someone when being single is not so bad.  You get to do whatever you want, you’re answerable to no one but yourself, you can go on dates and enjoy the company – with no strings attached.  Being attached with lots and lots of strings isn’t such a great thing.

Besides, when you get too attached to a person and it doesn’t work-out, you’re left with plenty of baggage to work through.  Who needs that?  This got me thinking that I shouldn’t be focusing too much on finding someone myself.  If it’s the single card that’s dealt me, well then, I just have to learn how to play a poor hand well.

I guess I’m luckier than most because I have daughter so I won’t really be alone until she gets married – which I’m hoping won’t be for another twenty or so years. :mrgreen:  By that time, I’m pretty sure I’d welcome solitude with open arms.  And I have been in and out of too many relationships already that I just got tired of the whole thing.  It’s just too much work – something I may not be cut-out for, after all.

So there, whether someone comes or not is not a big deal anymore.  I’ve stopped praying for it.  Have I turned cynical once again?  I don’t think so.  I just don’t wanna hold my breath until I turn blue.  Forcing something to happen will just make you frustrated, depressed, and you’ll only be aggravating the loneliness even more.  You could even begin to doubt yourself and ask if there’s something the matter with you; which isn’t healthy.

My friend has turned cynical towards men, I used to be like her.  It’s no one’s fault, really.  It just didn’t happen, is all.  Now you have the rest of your life to enjoy and explore the world and you don’t need a partner for that.  You’re perfectly okay on your own. 😉  Being alone is all right, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you have to be lonely, too.

  1. smilingldsgirl
    June 21, 2010 at 1:15 PM

    I get reflective on birthdays also. Being single is a heck of a lot better than being married to someone you don’t love.
    There are definitely benefits to being single and I certainly think it is worth waiting for the right relationship. In the meantime I’m living a full single life. Gone are the days when a girl needed a male companion to travel, go to the movies, to dinner etc.

    • fancypants
      June 21, 2010 at 2:42 PM

      I agree… if the relationship is lacking in some way, why stay and compromise both your happiness? You know it’s bound to catch-up with you sooner or later…

      I also agree with what Akhmed said in his comment, sometimes the smallest things can give us the biggest joys… like finding a good book at a bargain price, a phone call from someone you haven’t heard from in awhile, running into an old friend whom you haven’t seen in ages, watching a movie, eating a good meal, making-up with someone you had a misunderstanding with, wonderful, wonderful surprises…

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