The start of the year wasn’t so good for me for two reasons: I broke-up with someone and I had [still do actually] chicken pox. 😦
Both are painful experiences: one is an emotional pain, the other; physical. In both cases, there were several instances when I just wanted to give-up or give-in. And in both cases, scars were the aftermath of the pain.
I don’t know how long it will take for the scars to heal, but I’m guessing that the emotional scars will take longer to heal.
What I am learning from all this is that I should do things differently this time. When before, I used to run away from the pain of a break-up by eliminating all things in my life that would remind me of the person, including common friends; now I know I must face the pain head-on in order to fully recover from it.
I am allowing myself to be enveloped by the deep melancholy of parting ways with someone I love. I am giving myself permission to feel the pain and the dull ache from missing him. I am also allowing myself to feel angry, betrayed and even hatred. This will help me sift through the emotions and see them from different perspectives.
And then when I had time enough to grieve, I will pick myself up, dust-off remnants of my grief and start over again. The lesson then won’t have been wasted on me. This time, I finally learned what I needed to learn.