Home > Heartstrings > Single Moms and Dating Dilemmas

Single Moms and Dating Dilemmas

So here’s the thing…I am currently facing some sort of parenting issue at the moment.One that I never thought I’d ever get into – after all, I swore I would never date again; content to live in my comfortable cocoon with just Kat – away from the rollercoaster rides one usually takes when dating/liking/falling for someone.

My friends can attest to how adamant I have been over the years about dating and finding someone who will turn peaceful evenings in bed, waiting to slumber; into endless sleepless nights; waking thoughts of the person in question; and simply having your world turned into a kaleidoscope of raw and heady emotions.

For many years now, I have turned a blind eye, deaf ear and pretty much closed heart when it comes to men who have sent out feelers [for lack of a better term]; wanting to get to know me on a more personal level.I thought I was protecting Kat by not entertaining these men – but I soon realized I was protecting ME.

I didn’t realize how badly my experiences with men have affected me; until I found myself turning the other way when L-O-V-E [or at least the beginnings of it] came knocking.But, L-O-V-E and F-A-T-E had other things in mind when they came banging on my door…persistent to let them in…but that’s for another post.Right now, I have parenting dilemmas concerning dating.

To make a long story short, I have been seeing this guy for just a couple of months –without saying anything to my 9-year-old daughter.I have been keeping him a secret because I didn’t know how to talk to Kat about him – doing this would entail explaining to her young mind what dating is and all the stuff that goes with it.

But children are very intuitive.She had been dropping hints on and off about the guy but I was always being elusive about the whole thing. Until one day, she sent me a text message asking if I like the guy [she knows about him…again, that’s for another post].She was shy to ask me in person so when I was having my usual coffee and morning papers fix in McDonald’s, she sent me the message.

Shock, disbelief and total embarrassment were what I felt the moment I read her message.She followed it up with three more text messages along the same lines, telling me that it’s okay for me to like the guy…that she doesn’t mind and that she loves me. Awww…talk about children growing up beyond their years!

Here comes my dilemma.I told Kat that we will talk about it some other time.I’ve been putting it off because I don’t know how to talk to her about dating and liking boys and all that stuff.I don’t know how to tell her that her liking a boy and my liking a boy are different and that with it comes being a responsible person.

I also don’t want her to get too attached to the idea of me seeing this guy because it’s complicated [yeah, another post…I promise].So what do I do?I am still in the process of researching about single moms and dating and breaking the news to their children – young children at that – a nine-year-old in my case.


The guy’s great – otherwise I wouldn’t have stepped out of my comfortable cocoon to let him into my life.He actually wants to meet Kat and spend a little time with her – isn’t that wonderful?Now, if only things weren’t complicated between us…SIGH

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