Only in the Movies
This one, I also got from the papers; I forget which one:
Only in the Movies
- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.
- All beds have special L-shaped top sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
- It is easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- Large, loft-style apartments inNew York City
are well within the price range of most people – whether they are employed or not.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- At least one pair of identical twins is always born evil.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any federal agency.
- Extremely beautiful and intelligent women are likely to become prostitutes or welders.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- Radiation causes interesting mutations – not to your future children, but to you, right there and then.
- If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
- Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
- Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
Only in the movies, eh?