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What's the Deal?

So here’s the deal…a very good friend of mine attempted to end his life just over the weekend.  This guy was so depressed over a break up that he wanted to end it all – that he felt he had no more reason to live.  When I heard the news that he had slashed his wrists, I felt all my blood drain.  I couldn’t move, my chest felt heavy and I couldn’t think straight.  I kept thinking, “No! This couldn’t be happening!”  The scariest part was not knowing where he was.  The bearer of bad news couldn’t say more than that he had slashed his wrists.  My friend deliberately left his mobile phone in the office.  He had it all planned.

No one could reach him.  A lot of things were running through my mind but I was focused on one thing, how to get to him.  I remember it was 10:22 in the evening when I got the news.  I was ready to play scrabble on my computer when my mobile phone rang and my other good friend blabbed on and on (she was incomprehensible at first) about our friend slashing.  When it finally hit me, I started walking around the room thinking what to do.  I thought of all the people I could call to help me reach him.  While I was doing this, I was also thinking if he showed signs of doing that horrible thing.

The afternoon before the incident, we were sitting on the steps in front of our building making small talk.  This guy friend nonchalantly asked if the veins on his wrists were the most vital.  No one took him seriously. Previous to that, he was crying in the office, he said he couldn’t work anymore, he was really depressed.  He was just slumped on his chair not moving, not doing anything, just resting his head on his arms and looking straight.  He left early from work.  No one knew he had left his phone.  Before he left, we all said to call us at any time day or night if he wanted company.  He just smiled.  On the same night, he had done it.

Thank God, his other friends and the ex had the feeling that something was not right (they were with him just hours before he did it).  Apparently, they all went out for a movie and dinner but my friend wasn’t very much into it.  When he got home, he started drinking and then he did it.

They found him just in time and came to his aid.  I got a call on that same night to say that he’s okay and not to worry.  But even after I got the news that he was okay, it took awhile until the pain in my chest would go away.  As I puffed on a cigarette, I was still feeling heavy and lethargic.  Another friend of mine died about three years ago with what police suspect was a suicide.  I couldn’t believe it almost happened all over again.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

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